Sadness.

I'm afraid there's a reason plans were put on hold and I haven't blogged in awhile. There's been something I've been holding out on this blog. A friend of mine has been going through a rough time. Last year, his fifteen year old brother was diagnosed with brain cancer. (This was after a headache that he had been complaining about to us that seemed harmless but turned pretty quickly.) After CAT and MRI scans, his cancer was found.

Over the last 15 months, this fantastic kid has been battling chemo, radiation and been poked and prodded without a single complaint. He's also been in a lot of pain, but you wouldn't have known it with the smile and the thumbs up he gave. I've been so proud of him. This school year, he got straight A's and and honors.

Right before Easter however, the monster in his brain grew in an area doctors could not operate on and he entered the hospital to try one more treatment. I'm sad to say that he passed away on May 8th.

Since then, we've all been reeling, but especially his parents and brother. I don't know what to say my friend about the death of his sibling, since it's a pain I can only imagine. Very secretly, I've been grieving too. I'll catch myself thinking of this sweet boy as I'm watching TV or I'm trying to go to sleep. I'll climb into my friend's car expecting his brother to be in the backseat. I'll go on his myspace and facebook, almost leaving a message, hoping he'll reply. I worry about my friend, who keeps saying he needs me, but I don't want to confess to him that I don't always know what to do. I was with my friend everyday until yesterday, when I'll admit I selfishly gave myself a break from it all, went on a job interview, cancelled the second one, then fell asleep at home. I'm tired all the time. I'm not hungry at all.

But I can't say that to the family, because their pain must be so much worse. Maybe I shouldn't be hurting at all, but I don't want to say that I am. I almost cried last night, but held it in. I can't cry right now. I have to be strong for my friend and their family.

But I can't help but think, after knowing my friend for five years that I'll miss his brother. And I didn't even think I would go over their house and not hear his brother running down the stairs, or tossing his back back by the door, or the sounds of video games. I didn't think that we would stop taking him to karate, or he wouldn't be going to the county fair with us anymore or I wouldn't be able to win a movie poster for him. I should have treasured him. He was an angel in the making. Godspeed to an awesome boy. Heaven is so lucky to have you.

Setback and moving forward! :)

Well, I wasn't able to go to the Schuyler Fisk concert. On the day of the show, my body decided "Hey, you haven't had a fever in awhile...let's give you one girl!" I woke up to body aches, chills and a classic fever. My head also felt like it was split in half. Boo. I had lovely people update me on the show though, so I'd like to take a time out and say thanks! My evening instead consisted of catching up on programing with the DVR and letting my mind travel nowhere, but it felt good to just relax in my PJ's.

No travel updates right now to speak of, but I've narrowed down my choices to San Diego, Orlando, Los Angeles, or Tucson. Can you tell I'm craving a warm place? :) Has anyone reading this been to these places? City-Data.com gives me an idea on these areas. While reading one of my favorite blogs, I checked on Alaska just for fun. There is a section on every town Hailey, if you want to check that out!

In addition to travel plans, I've begun volunteering at our local animal shelter and taking cooking classes as I save up. My puppy is NOT happy of my new activites, since it means less time with him.



I want to say sorry in advance Noah, since you aren't coming with me.

One small step.

Happy tax day!

How's my progress been? Slow and steady. I've begun looking at rates online to go to the west coast. Besides Hawaii, I've never been to the western states, so I'm giddy. HI International Hostel appears to be my best bet to stay. A friend of mine who traveled one summer said that hostels are much nicer then they used to be. (Although, during a hostel stay in San Diego, she told me the water smelled weird in the shower) Hey, it's all part of the experence right?

Meanwhile, an unexpected perk happened just this morning. My favorite singer Schuyler Fisk, is playing at the Living Room next Wednesday night in NYC. Having never been there alone, why not start now with my being bold and brave? I'll report back here after the show. :)

Take care for now everyone!

hello all.

I don't know exactly how many people will read this, (if any) but allow me to introduce myself. My name is Katie. I'm a 20 something who lives in NJ with her parents (a less then ideal situation for me but we're all making do for now). Currently, I've been looking for work with little luck (damn you economy), so it's been unsettling. In between job interviews and with gaps of time on my hands I began thinking: What if I could just do something for myself before hunkering down into the world of 9-5? Something adventurous and exciting, with no one to answer to and nothing to worry about? It was a foreign concept, since I'm the biggest worrier on the planet and everything NEEDS to be planned within an inch of it's life, but it entered my brain.

What if I could go where ever I wanted? Around Christmas, I was stuck on bed rest with full blown Pneumonia and started dreaming of warm climates: Florida, Arizona, California. I've been fascinated with visiting different areas of the country since high school, but it had never crept into my sub conscious quite like this. It hasn't left me since.

Shortly before New Years, my slightly out there but endearing Aunt Lynn told me all about her travels as a college student in Europe. She was "scared shitless", she said. This shocked me. A woman who has been to China? Who went with her kayaking club to New Zealand just to visit Lord of the Rings locations? Who traveled to an island I'd never even heard of of until it was featured on Survivor? It was oddly comforting, to hear that even my superhero could be afraid. She traveled just to do it, and returned from her first trip unharmed.

I have rarely left my comfort zone as an adult. After the death of my mother, I became a bit of nervous nelly. Driving freaks me out. So does being away from home. I used to be fearless, taking on the world in my dirty chuck taylors, believing I could be anything. Could I reach into that part of my soul again? I've decided I could certainly give it a try. And so, I'm here to announce that I will be picking a destination to visit and updating you on my travels, with very little money and no job prospects in sight. Wish me luck. Kidlet Katie is cheering the adult woman on. She's a little older, a little wiser...and now wearing sneakers.