Back to the drawing board.

Well.

Let's just say my new "job" didn't work out. After my first day of work, I received a phone call two hours after I got home. I was let go of my position, (the position was given to someone the owner knew). The receptionist told me I could pick up my day's pay whenever I wanted. I returned the next day where I was given $30 in cash. $7 an hour.

I was hired for $13.50 an hour.

To say I am not happy would be an understatement. I was hired for this position two weeks before my first day. That's two whole weeks I could have been looking for real employment elsewhere.

I've decided that while I am still looking in and around my area, I will also be looking at other states to apply for work. Has anyone here ever done this? Any success stories?

I need some positivity right now.

Bloggin with style!

After mourning the loss of my PC Stanley, I've decided it was time to take the plunge and move forward.

Guess what I got? Hint: It's a tool I've always dreamed of. Have you guessed correctly? No?....Okay, I'll just tell you. I got a new laptop! But not just ANY laptop. It's a laptop I've only owned in my happiest of dreams. It's a......drum roll please:

My dear dad was finally the one who convinced me to take the plunge. (After my stepmother, her best friend and my brother's attempts were not breaking me) Besides, I was in Best Buy staring at this master of creation. I couldn't say no. (I'll admit it, being on an interest free payment plan also helped in my decision.) After about 20 minutes of buyer's remorse (which consists of my usual worry wart ridiculousness and panic) I came around to being the giddiest woman on the planet. The second that baby booted up the nerd in me was ecstatic. 7 hours of battery life! Awesome programs! No viruses! High speed! The keys glow in the dark! It's glorious.

Stanley who? I can't recall. Say hello to, well...Mac. I know. How original. "Oh Katie," you must be saying, "Tell us how you really feel." No problem. Since I can't put my true feelings into written word at the moment (a rarity), here is my face:

I can't wait to catch up on all of your blogs again and get back to writing. It truly makes my day complete.

Movin on up! (Not to the East Side, but up just the same)

Oh blog, I have missed you. I feel like I'm neglecting you like a redheaded stepchild. No more, I swear. I can tend to you now.

Want to know why?

It's been difficult to keep this under wraps, since I've needed to for about a week or so, but I can finally say it: I have found employment! Want to know even better news? It's FULL TIME employment! One of the jobs that I had been hoping for did not come through, but another one did just in the nick of time, and I will love this job. I get to be surrounded by my favorite creatures (dogs) all day long, as well as people. My future employer is just lovely, and the business is located in a cute little town. I wouldn't mind getting an apartment in that area at some point, let me tell you. It's adorable.

After endless searching (before and after Hawaii) on Monster, Yahoo Jobs and applying to official websites of large companies, what worked for me was hitting the local wanted ads. It's something I don't think occurs to 20 something job hunters like myself (and I'm including myself in this), but that was the best result.

I have obtained so much knowledge and confidence during my Hawaii journey, I applied it in life at home as well. Be confident. Be self-assured. Be positive. Be yourself. Volunteer if you can, it's so rewarding. Lastly, keep going. Don't give up, there's something out there for you.

House update: Most of the major work is finished. Thanks Ginny, James, Erin, Amanda, Christine and so many others! You guys did things I wasn't able to do or wasn't here for. Just wanted to let you all know how grateful I am. I think there's some cosmetic stuff needed to do left. (refinishing the hardwood floors and such) then I will be on my way.

Gulp.

Remember that whole confidence thing I mentioned just seconds ago? I keep giving that to myself, like a shot. Moving out is a little bit scary. I suspect it will also be rewarding however. It's amazing what perspective distance can give you. If I can travel alone (without parents) 6,000 miles away, I can do this too. I think it's change that spooks me, and yet I love adventure. What I have to do, is tell myself that this is another adventure, rather then that scary word CHANGE. Adventure sounds a lot more cool. It also makes me excited.

Writing update: I have decided I would love to write a whole lot more. I'm going to a Freelance Writing workshop and taking some classes. It's a hybrid class (online so it doesn't affect work) and in NYC on my days off. Looking forward to seeing what new doors I can open for myself.

Computer update: I'm going to be setting aside money for a new laptop, because while Stanley the PC held on for a little while longer when I arrived home, he has finally sputtered and died. My model was the HP Pavilion Dv4, and I'm starting to read other nightmare scenarios online about this computer. Such a shame, but it's time for a new one. The library is a nice place, but I'm sick of spending a lot of time here.

And finally, thanks to all of YOU for reading my blog. You have no idea what world you have opened for me. I love reading your blogs too. It gives me confidence to try even more new things.

Yup. I'm alive.

I'm so sorry to have disappeared on you all. A combination of jet lag, a dead laptop, and being on the job hunt has led me to neglect this blog. I'm returning slowly but surely.

Right now, I'll admit it, I'm having a bit of anxiety. (Not having a job does that to you) I like working. I enjoy being a go getter. I want to build towards my future and get started as fast as time will allow, but I do realize that I have to be patient. I'm grateful that I don't have a family to support. I know that I have my parents support should I need them, but I want to break out on my own and be self-sufficient, as I'm sure any young person does.

On the plus side, I'm getting interviews. There is a position I applied for that I believe is the perfect fit for me, and I would enjoy it. In addition, this position would allow me to build a future, and work toward the goals I need to achieve. I usually do not ask of this, but your prayers (or well wishes) would be appreciated. Stepmom said that whatever is in God's plan will be. Hopefully, we're on the same page.

Also wanted to add that I miss reading your blogs all the time. When I get a new laptop, I'll be back to reading and commenting on all of your blogs regularly.

Random Epilogue.

Excuse the rambling. I'm still a bit jetlagged.

After a whirlwind journey (seriously, was that really almost four months of being away?!?), I have arrived "home" safe and sound. Well, it's as home as it's going to get for now. The plan was to move into my new place when I returned to New Jersey. That plan was delayed due to unexpected (and very expected) repairs to the house. (You gotta have a working toilet and a kitchen y'all. Although, not in the same room of course) So for now, I am in my parents new apartment. If I ever reach my main goal of complete financial Independence with some bank to spare, I want a place like theirs. You see, their place has granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances, which has always been a dream of mine.
That's pretty much it. I don't ask for too, too much. Oh, except I also want a farm with some dogs, a goat, and some mini pigs. (In case you can't tell, that last part was a pipe dream)

I didn't expect my return to New Jersey to be a difficult adjustment, but I'll admit that it has been. I'm so grateful for the opportunities that Hawaii has given me, including a new found sense of confidence, but I'm feeling a little lost in my return to the mainland. I'm a bit in flux I'm afraid. I'm thankful I have wonderful parents who will happily let me stay with them until my place is ready, but I'll admit it: I'm ready to sleep in a room that is MY room. Not a couch. Not a futon. Not a guest bedroom, but my room, with my colors and my pictures and my pillows. I'm currently sleeping in a guest bedroom--in my old bed--but it still doesn't feel like my bed. I'd like to settle for a little while.

And yet....
I also want more adventures like the one I just had in the future. Traveling is for me. I want to continue my trek at some point, although there is no set date on that yet. First, I need a home base to forge myself in, a bigger work history and more savings. Then I'll go discover more of what this country has to offer. I'd like to go visit the West Coast (San Diego is nice I hear), and the south. (I want to visit Austin, Texas, which a friend of mine says is awesome) It's official, I've got a traveling bug. For now, I'm back on the job hunt, and I'm looking into Freelance Writing classes. I'd like to eventually turn my hobby into a job down the line. Writing I've discovered, is something I love.

The End of the Road....

...Literally. The other day, Auntie and I drove to the "end" of the main country road on Oahu and ended up on the other side of the island, near a remote area I had never seen before. We parked in the grass (something you had to do since the road was so narrow) and enjoyed the simplest--and the best--thing about life on the islands: It's pure beauty. The scenery. The mountains. The sunset. It was a pleasure that I knew I wouldn't have at the tip of my fingertips much longer, so I knew not to take the moment for granted.

I wish I could say these photos were mine, but it would be a sin to to call them my own. These photos are Auntie's, who wanted to share them with you all. She really didn't even want the credit for them. "You could say they're yours if you want", she told me. I didn't dare.

It pains me to write this, and I can't quite believe it, but today is my last day in Hawaii. It's currently 3am, and I have yet to shut my eyes, because I don't want to waste any of that precious time sleeping. (although I suppose I should at some point) My flight leaves the islands at 10:50pm Hawaii time, 3:50am Wednesday East Coast time. My bags are (mostly) packed, my boarding passes are printed, my dresser drawers are cleared out and my laundry is done. I have said goodbye to most of my new Hawaii friends, like Cassidy. I will say "See you later" to my best Hawaii friend, Pai, this morning before she heads off to class. I have said goodbye to all of the wonderful employees at the Oahu SPCA, and of course, the animals, like Blue the cat, and Teddy Bear the dog.

I have waved so long to my favorite bus driver, who has taken me across every inch of the island that he can. I have bid adieu to the schoolkids who ride that same bus, greet me every morning and refer to me as "Auntie" when they tell me all about their adventures in learning. I wish for them to continue to grow and to always be open to new experiences, as I have discovered in the past three months.

Today, my itinerary is cleared. I am doing nothing but finishing my packing, going to the beach, and spending my last day with family and friends. Thank you to everyone who has made my experience possible, especially to you Auntie. Without your guidance, gentle encouragement and support, I don't believe I would have made it as far as I have out here. You have helped find the Katie that I thought was lost, and I don't know how I can repay you for that. The world is at my fingertips once more. I can achieve what I want to achieve, big or small. Thank you also for taking me out to dinner, my trip to Maui and giving up your space to accommodate me. It's not easy to do so, and I want you to know that I appreciate it very much. You will always have a place to stay in my new home, should you ever need to, and you will always have a place in my heart.

I hope that all of you blog friends will stick around here, even though my Hawaii chapter has come to a close. I look forward, with nervousness but excitement, at what awaits for me back home. It's onto the next adventure. Where ever I end up, I'll be sure to write it down. 

I confessed to Pai that I didn't want to say goodbye to her, other friends, or the island. "It's not goodbye," Pai said. "Just say 'See you later.'" I have decided to take her advice. And so, I will close here.

See you later Hawaii. It has been an experience I will always treasure.

It's time to go home now.

Almost over....

I can't believe I'm typing this but: I head back to New Jersey on Tuesday night.

There are many mixed emotions that I'm coming to grips with on this fact. One is that I'm looking foreword to reuniting with family and friends that I haven't seen in almost 4 months. Especially Brother. I'm thrilled to see old decor as well. I miss NYC. I miss street fairs. I miss diners and great bakeries. I miss good pizza. I miss my bed. I'm a bit nervous on returning though, because I don't want to fall back into the old habit of feeling stuck. Since I've left, a lot has changed. For example, the family house was sold and my parents and stepsister have moved into new places. They have been situated for quite some time now, but I do not have that settled in feeling. The rental house that I'm moving into with friends is not ready yet. Because of this, I'll be under my parents roof again for a little while, which makes me hesitate. This time I don't have my own room and my things are still in storage. I've loved this adventure and I'm so grateful for every one's hospitality, but at this point, I'm becoming a bit worn out with sleeping on different beds and futons. I miss having my own space, a place that feels like home. I know I'll eventually have that, so I'm telling myself to stick it out a little longer. I'm also terrified that I don't have a job. A 28 year old should probably have one of those....

...And yet: I love the adventure of not knowing what's going to happen next and trying new things. I love it here. I love coming and going whenever I want. I love the fact that I'm not worried about anything or anyone while I'm out in Hawaii. The people here have been amazing to me and I have enjoyed the slow pace. I've made new friends and have been to so many new places. I've rediscovered a lot about myself that I thought was lost forever, like the fact that writing is probably what I enjoy the most and that being independent is the goal I've always dreamed of. I don't want to stop learning, or discovering new adventures. My next goal is to (eventually) travel to a new city. I'd like to stay in a hostel for my next trip. My long term goal is to move to the West Coast or the south, but I have to see what this country has to offer first, before I commit to one destination. All I know right now is that it's been amazing to not feel pain in my legs from the harsh, cold elements and I'd like to keep it that way. I'd love to have two places that I call home (a feeling that I have gotten since I've been here in Hawaii) Two sets of friends, two places I feel comfortable. I already have the two sets of friends part, and for that I am very lucky.

We'll see.

The best part about life is that you never know where it will take you. I've learned that too. In due time I will have what I want. In the meantime, I'll have to figure out what that is.