Home Sweet Home (well, almost)

My friends and I have finally moved into our new house. :) (Well, really there's, but they say it's mine too) I feel really lucky and blessed to have my friends. I'm still searching for a job, but with all the resumes I've sent out and follow up calls I'm making, something is bound to turn up soon. I will be keeping my chin up.

The house is really great. There's still some work that needs to be done here and there, but that'll be done in due time. I would like to thank (my friend) Erin's mom, Ginny. She did a lot of work with the house, and especially my room, while I was so far away. With 6,000 miles between us, she painted my room a perfect green, refinished the hardwood floors, and redid everything. It means a lot to me. I would also like to thank my parents, who bought me all new bedroom furniture. (A dresser and nightstands were really needed in my life) I'm grateful that they let me stay at their place with no problem and told me I was always welcome, even when I felt a bit uneasy at times.

Now, it's up to me. Being on your own can be a little scary for sure (and I am a little--well very--nervous), but it's what I need in my life. I'm thankful for this new adventure, especially with the fact that I won't being doing it alone.

I'll close here for now. At the moment, we don't have cable or Internet, since we just moved in yesterday, but I will update here when we're all settled.

After five long months, I no longer live out of a suitcase. It feels good to have my own room and be in my own bed. I finally feel I can relax a little. I am home.

Yup. I'm alive.

I'm so sorry to have disappeared on you all. A combination of jet lag, a dead laptop, and being on the job hunt has led me to neglect this blog. I'm returning slowly but surely.

Right now, I'll admit it, I'm having a bit of anxiety. (Not having a job does that to you) I like working. I enjoy being a go getter. I want to build towards my future and get started as fast as time will allow, but I do realize that I have to be patient. I'm grateful that I don't have a family to support. I know that I have my parents support should I need them, but I want to break out on my own and be self-sufficient, as I'm sure any young person does.

On the plus side, I'm getting interviews. There is a position I applied for that I believe is the perfect fit for me, and I would enjoy it. In addition, this position would allow me to build a future, and work toward the goals I need to achieve. I usually do not ask of this, but your prayers (or well wishes) would be appreciated. Stepmom said that whatever is in God's plan will be. Hopefully, we're on the same page.

Also wanted to add that I miss reading your blogs all the time. When I get a new laptop, I'll be back to reading and commenting on all of your blogs regularly.

Random Epilogue.

Excuse the rambling. I'm still a bit jetlagged.

After a whirlwind journey (seriously, was that really almost four months of being away?!?), I have arrived "home" safe and sound. Well, it's as home as it's going to get for now. The plan was to move into my new place when I returned to New Jersey. That plan was delayed due to unexpected (and very expected) repairs to the house. (You gotta have a working toilet and a kitchen y'all. Although, not in the same room of course) So for now, I am in my parents new apartment. If I ever reach my main goal of complete financial Independence with some bank to spare, I want a place like theirs. You see, their place has granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances, which has always been a dream of mine.
That's pretty much it. I don't ask for too, too much. Oh, except I also want a farm with some dogs, a goat, and some mini pigs. (In case you can't tell, that last part was a pipe dream)

I didn't expect my return to New Jersey to be a difficult adjustment, but I'll admit that it has been. I'm so grateful for the opportunities that Hawaii has given me, including a new found sense of confidence, but I'm feeling a little lost in my return to the mainland. I'm a bit in flux I'm afraid. I'm thankful I have wonderful parents who will happily let me stay with them until my place is ready, but I'll admit it: I'm ready to sleep in a room that is MY room. Not a couch. Not a futon. Not a guest bedroom, but my room, with my colors and my pictures and my pillows. I'm currently sleeping in a guest bedroom--in my old bed--but it still doesn't feel like my bed. I'd like to settle for a little while.

And yet....
I also want more adventures like the one I just had in the future. Traveling is for me. I want to continue my trek at some point, although there is no set date on that yet. First, I need a home base to forge myself in, a bigger work history and more savings. Then I'll go discover more of what this country has to offer. I'd like to go visit the West Coast (San Diego is nice I hear), and the south. (I want to visit Austin, Texas, which a friend of mine says is awesome) It's official, I've got a traveling bug. For now, I'm back on the job hunt, and I'm looking into Freelance Writing classes. I'd like to eventually turn my hobby into a job down the line. Writing I've discovered, is something I love.

The End of the Road....

...Literally. The other day, Auntie and I drove to the "end" of the main country road on Oahu and ended up on the other side of the island, near a remote area I had never seen before. We parked in the grass (something you had to do since the road was so narrow) and enjoyed the simplest--and the best--thing about life on the islands: It's pure beauty. The scenery. The mountains. The sunset. It was a pleasure that I knew I wouldn't have at the tip of my fingertips much longer, so I knew not to take the moment for granted.

I wish I could say these photos were mine, but it would be a sin to to call them my own. These photos are Auntie's, who wanted to share them with you all. She really didn't even want the credit for them. "You could say they're yours if you want", she told me. I didn't dare.

It pains me to write this, and I can't quite believe it, but today is my last day in Hawaii. It's currently 3am, and I have yet to shut my eyes, because I don't want to waste any of that precious time sleeping. (although I suppose I should at some point) My flight leaves the islands at 10:50pm Hawaii time, 3:50am Wednesday East Coast time. My bags are (mostly) packed, my boarding passes are printed, my dresser drawers are cleared out and my laundry is done. I have said goodbye to most of my new Hawaii friends, like Cassidy. I will say "See you later" to my best Hawaii friend, Pai, this morning before she heads off to class. I have said goodbye to all of the wonderful employees at the Oahu SPCA, and of course, the animals, like Blue the cat, and Teddy Bear the dog.

I have waved so long to my favorite bus driver, who has taken me across every inch of the island that he can. I have bid adieu to the schoolkids who ride that same bus, greet me every morning and refer to me as "Auntie" when they tell me all about their adventures in learning. I wish for them to continue to grow and to always be open to new experiences, as I have discovered in the past three months.

Today, my itinerary is cleared. I am doing nothing but finishing my packing, going to the beach, and spending my last day with family and friends. Thank you to everyone who has made my experience possible, especially to you Auntie. Without your guidance, gentle encouragement and support, I don't believe I would have made it as far as I have out here. You have helped find the Katie that I thought was lost, and I don't know how I can repay you for that. The world is at my fingertips once more. I can achieve what I want to achieve, big or small. Thank you also for taking me out to dinner, my trip to Maui and giving up your space to accommodate me. It's not easy to do so, and I want you to know that I appreciate it very much. You will always have a place to stay in my new home, should you ever need to, and you will always have a place in my heart.

I hope that all of you blog friends will stick around here, even though my Hawaii chapter has come to a close. I look forward, with nervousness but excitement, at what awaits for me back home. It's onto the next adventure. Where ever I end up, I'll be sure to write it down. 

I confessed to Pai that I didn't want to say goodbye to her, other friends, or the island. "It's not goodbye," Pai said. "Just say 'See you later.'" I have decided to take her advice. And so, I will close here.

See you later Hawaii. It has been an experience I will always treasure.

It's time to go home now.

Almost over....

I can't believe I'm typing this but: I head back to New Jersey on Tuesday night.

There are many mixed emotions that I'm coming to grips with on this fact. One is that I'm looking foreword to reuniting with family and friends that I haven't seen in almost 4 months. Especially Brother. I'm thrilled to see old decor as well. I miss NYC. I miss street fairs. I miss diners and great bakeries. I miss good pizza. I miss my bed. I'm a bit nervous on returning though, because I don't want to fall back into the old habit of feeling stuck. Since I've left, a lot has changed. For example, the family house was sold and my parents and stepsister have moved into new places. They have been situated for quite some time now, but I do not have that settled in feeling. The rental house that I'm moving into with friends is not ready yet. Because of this, I'll be under my parents roof again for a little while, which makes me hesitate. This time I don't have my own room and my things are still in storage. I've loved this adventure and I'm so grateful for every one's hospitality, but at this point, I'm becoming a bit worn out with sleeping on different beds and futons. I miss having my own space, a place that feels like home. I know I'll eventually have that, so I'm telling myself to stick it out a little longer. I'm also terrified that I don't have a job. A 28 year old should probably have one of those....

...And yet: I love the adventure of not knowing what's going to happen next and trying new things. I love it here. I love coming and going whenever I want. I love the fact that I'm not worried about anything or anyone while I'm out in Hawaii. The people here have been amazing to me and I have enjoyed the slow pace. I've made new friends and have been to so many new places. I've rediscovered a lot about myself that I thought was lost forever, like the fact that writing is probably what I enjoy the most and that being independent is the goal I've always dreamed of. I don't want to stop learning, or discovering new adventures. My next goal is to (eventually) travel to a new city. I'd like to stay in a hostel for my next trip. My long term goal is to move to the West Coast or the south, but I have to see what this country has to offer first, before I commit to one destination. All I know right now is that it's been amazing to not feel pain in my legs from the harsh, cold elements and I'd like to keep it that way. I'd love to have two places that I call home (a feeling that I have gotten since I've been here in Hawaii) Two sets of friends, two places I feel comfortable. I already have the two sets of friends part, and for that I am very lucky.

We'll see.

The best part about life is that you never know where it will take you. I've learned that too. In due time I will have what I want. In the meantime, I'll have to figure out what that is.

Oh Brother.

I mentioned in this entry that I've been enjoying traveling alone, meeting new people and seeing new places. I've discovered my love for the islands and the west coast. I'd love to see more and travel a lot. I know in the future, New Jersey is probably not where I'll end up staying. I'll admit it, while I'm so comfortable with my friends back at home, sometimes I don't feel like I belong back at home for a lot of reasons. I really don't know where I fit still, but I'm having a great time figuring it out. There's people that I'd miss terribly though, and those people are Brother 1 and Brother 2.

Brother 1 (aka, Kevin, aka simply "Brother"), is my twin and one of my best friends. I can tell Brother anything and everything without feeling self-conscious, or odd about it. I'm only minutes older then Brother, but I do like to tease him to "respect his elders". We've shared birthdays, classes at school and even some friends, all while being our own people. Both of us share a love for movies and other various forms of pop culture. I can tell when Brother is not himself, and he can tell when I'm not myself either.

I credit Brother for introducing me to my love of music. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was read books. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I didn't branch out my interests) When we were about 8 years old, Brother asked for a tape player and cassettes for his birthday. I thought it was an odd gift for him to ask for, but once he started listening to music, he never stopped. When we were in grade school, Brother would take his tape player and blast music in his room, all while talking to me about his day. I wasn't interested in all of the subjects that he discussed, but that didn't matter. I loved talking to Brother. As we talked, sometimes he would interrupt and point out what song was playing, who it was by and even what instruments were in the background. I didn't have any favorite artists that I liked, but I did (most of the time) enjoy what he listened to.

When we were 13, he graduated from his now worn tape player to a CD player with big speakers. I liked that CD player. It lasted FOREVER. By this point, I enjoyed songs. I still wasn't sure what music I liked on my own, but I was getting there. It was around this age that Brother began creating his own music. He was learning guitar and bass and he knew how to sing. I don't believe he thought much of it, but he was very talented. We hung out with our own groups of friends by this point. There were many ups and downs throughout our lives. My health deteriorated greatly in my young teens, and although I don't remember much on how it felt, I remember being in a lot of pain. Kevin brought a great comfort to me, because the routine was always consistent. I wasn't always in school. I didn't always see our friends. I was in and out of X Ray offices and had too many doctors and hospital visits. But at the end of the day, there was always music.

In adulthood, the setting changed and of course we're no longer school aged children. But once or twice a week, I went to Kevin's for dinner. He now plays his Ipod, and I show him my own favorites. Thanks to Brother, I have a very electric taste of my own. Without his help, I don't think I would have ever come across my love for folk music and acoustic guitars. The artists I listen to, everything from Bob Dylan, the Everly Brothers, Feist, Schuyler Fisk....that's all due to him. He's now amazing at guitar, (owns about 8 of them I believe).

Brother always looks out for me too. Sometimes I think he worries about me, although I don't think he'll admit it. I pretend I don't notice him peeking out his front window, making sure I get to my car okay if I leave at night. I know it must have not been easy when I announced I was going to Hawaii, because it's awfully hard (if not impossible), to look out for me from 6,000 miles away. Still, Brother always encourages me, no matter what kind of spot I might be in. He believes I can do anything, even when I don't believe it. He also calls out my BS so to speak, and I do to him as well. I can say things to him that no one else can say and he won't get mad. That's Brother.

Brother 2 (aka, Dan) is also amazingly talented. He's free spirited, an artist, and always beats to his own drum. He can make anything into art. He can paint, sculpt, draw and is awesome as photography. I too, love photography, and I owe Brother 2 for my interest in it, but I only wish I could be as good as Dan:

I admire Brother 2 because when he wants to do something, he just does it. He doesn't worry about what people think of him. He doesn't worry if people disagree with his ideas. Dan is Dan. Last year, he and his girlfriend Gen took a 6 week trip all over Europe. I always admired that trip. I think it's one of the reasons I have this blog and made my own travel adventure to Hawaii in the first place.

I would be doing a disservice to this entry if I didn't include another amazing person in our family, and that is Gen:

Gen has been part of our little group for so long that I don't remember when she wasn't. She too, is artistic. She's also a fashion maven, a dancer and a dance teacher. I wasn't able to go to one of the plays she was choreographing, because I was here. One of the best things about Gen is how fun she is. She has an awesome sense of humor and you're guaranteed to have a blast when you hang out with her. I should mention that she is this blog's #1 fan. Really. She said so.

And so, while it's been hard to be away from them, I do feel lucky that I'm surrounded by them. I feel lucky to have siblings in my lives. Sometimes I don't feel as smart, as talented, or mature as they are. (Most of the time, I feel like the younger sibling, rather then the other way around) But Brothers 1 and 2 accept me as I am, flawed and all.

These are my brothers and they are good.

I'm not sure what talents I possess, or what value I bring to people, but I know what these people bring to me. I can only hope I'll continue to be inspired by them and the rest of my family (like Dad and Lynda) as I continue to take baby steps out into this brand new world. I know how proud I am of them.

I hope to make them proud.

Sticker Shock!

Want to live in paradise?

That's nice.

 But there's a minor thing that you have to consider first before even making the jump here for a long vacation:
EVERYTHING is expensive. And I do mean every. thing.
Remember those pesky gas prices where you are? The prices that stand at around $3.91 a gallon or something? Try, $4.49 at the cheapest. To compare, here you go.

Home:

Honolulu:

That's not even the worst. Here's Maui:

Think the food store is any better? Oh, not at all my friend.

This is the price of milk at home:

Keep in mind that this is NOT store brand so it's more expensive. Now onto milk in Hawaii, which is store brand (and on sale)

How about that Tide you need for laundry? Hmmmmm? Well, well, well....let's see shall we?

Home:

This is on sale, with your card.

Honolulu....(also on sale, with card)

How about some fruit? (Is healthy cheaper?...do I dare to dream?)

Home:

Honolulu:

Snacks you say? You want snacks? Well, we'll give it a shot. Can't promise you anything.





I think you're getting the idea. So, in conclusion, I guess living in Hawaii is feasible...if you plan accordingly. Or you're rich. That'd be nice too. I know one thing: If I move out here one day Chevy, you're NOT coming with me. Don't get me wrong, you're a sweet car, but I'd abandon you.