It's been a month since I've been away from home and over that time I've discovered a lot of things:
1) Things are possible. Maybe I won't get everything I want, but I can live independently with hard work and patience.
2) I love travel. I love seeing new places, venturing alone and meeting new people. Hawaii has been so friendly, and everyone knows everyone here. I'm a pro at public transit and finding good deals. In fact, I love travel so much that I (eventually) would love to go somewhere else. San Diego? Alaska? Austin? At the moment, I'm really interested in the US and what we have to offer in our homeland.
3) Being afraid can be a good thing, so long as you don't let it overtake you. It's an awesome motivator. The other day on the bus I saw a bag that read "Do one thing a day that scares you." Sounds about right.
4) I'm starting to feel okay with being alone. As a kid, I used to love being alone. (even as a teenager really). It wasn't until 20 that I suddenly felt that I needed to be with people quite often. But being by yourself sometimes isn't the end of all things. I'm alone in a new way: I can be alone AND be with people. I'm alone without being a loner, which is nice.
5) I don't feel like a burden anymore. I don't ever want to feel like a burden again. I'm a person too. A person of value and worth. We all are. You're only a burden if you allow yourself to be. No one will push me around anymore. No one will dismiss my feelings. I will continue to be a listener, but I will be heard too.
6) I don't know if I want to live in Hawaii, but if I do someday, I think I want to live away from Honolulu. Honolulu's nice and all, but it's a city like everywhere else. I'd like to live near civilization, so I can have access to things, but not live in the middle of the hubbub. I want beauty. I want nature. I want peace and quiet.
7) I don't want to live in New Jersey forever. If I don't live out here, I would like to live down south, where the pace is slower and things are cheaper. (Maybe that could be my next travel plan). I hate snow. I hate cold weather. I no longer take my allergy pills and my muscles have only been in pain twice since I got here, (a huge feat) vs. everyday at home. I didn't realize how nice it feels to be pain free. It's been a long time.