Stuck.

I'll admit it, my mind has been feeling a bit stuck lately. I've been trying to fight the pessimism that has been creeping into my brain over the last month, but 16 months (and counting) with no work has really been difficult. A couple of days ago, I realized that it'd probably be best to avoid breaking down in front of your blog. No sir, I will not write negative posts on here. I'll just keep going. So I've avoided my (now broken) laptop when feeling like crap.

Instead, I've been hitting the pavement looking for anything. Ever since a spinal injury, my doctor recommended that I avoid any type of retail work "or work involving physical labor." Well ma'am, no offense, but the economy isn't exactly friendly right now (in case you haven't noticed) and I no longer have the patience to wait for a job that would be the right fit for me. You have to adapt to the world. The world isn't going to adapt to you.

Yesterday, I applied to be a secretary at a hospital, and I'm waiting back from my job advisor to hear about a job in a courthouse.

My mind's been racing over a lot of things:
-Returning to school?
-Trade school?
-What jobs are economically friendly? Medical jobs. Federal Jobs.
-What areas have a better economy then mine? Texas for one. Austin especally.

I've even thought about applying for work in other states and if I find a job, packing up and just leaving NJ with the savings I already have. (My orginal plan was to save up some more and move out in two years) Risky? Hell yes. Especially since my savings consists of about $8,000. Frankly, I'm not even sure if I'm being realistic. I've got a stepmother at home who doesn't want me to go anywhere one minute, and out the next. All I know is that I feel like I've always been the one to watch the world go by, I've always paitently waited for my turn. Well, I'm no longer paitent. I want it to be my turn. I want to get out of here and do something that's just for me. A story that's just mine to tell. Selfish? Perhaps. But I no longer care.

I had a good cry last night. The first in a long time. I'll admit it felt good.

Looking Up!

My generous best friend wanted all of us ladies to pick out our own bridesmaid dresses for her wedding. The only requirement is that the dress needed to be a black cocktail one. After months of searching, I finally found mine...for $20 at Marshalls. I can honestly say that it's the best dress I've ever worn. It hides my "real scoliosis women have curves" look quite nicely.

Excuse the humidity hair. On another note, I got an interview at a doggy day care called Camp Bow Wow. I'm really excited because this may mean my love for humans and canines will collide. :) (The idea of being surrounded by animals all day makes me smile from ear to ear.) It's a part time job, but I feel it'll be wonderful just to get my foot in the door and get out there.

I've also signed up to be...drumroll please...an Avon rep. Yes ladies, I will be going out and about around town (and online) selling makeup to y'all. Orientation is tomorrow, so my website isn't up yet. (nor do I have any clue with what I'm doing) I wonder if I'm able to put it up here on my blog. (if only I had more followers...I don't bite....I swear. ;) ) For the lovely follower I do have, hi there! If you ever need some makeup up in good ol' Alaska, let me know.