Monday, February 28, 2011

I'm about to go on an adventure of my own.

The house is sold! Well, almost. It has to go through inspection and all that good stuff, but I think it'll be okay. I (along with everyone else) didn't expect the house to be sold so quickly, but I'm thrilled for my parents. My life is a little up in the air at this point. I am unable to move into the rental until July at the earliest, but we have to move by April.

I freaked out a little (okay a lot) at the idea that I may be four months adrift. My aunt (visiting from out of state) and I put our heads together and came up with a solution. First, I am going to be visiting my friend, her husband, and her little boy Ethan for a week in Orlando. Then I will be staying with my aunt for several months at her Hawaii.  Auntie has lived in Honolulu for over ten years. I will mostly be alone, since she works full time and is currently going to school, but this is fine with me. I am hoping (PRAYING) to find a part time job while I'm out there to help with travel money, and I will be sightseeing like crazy. You are about to see a TON of Hawaii pictures. I will admit, I'm very nervous. Money is one scary issue. So is falling on my face. The parents say I'm fine, so I'm going to take a deep breath. I had a dream last night that I blew my savings and returned home with no money left for rent. Time to budget, budget, budget.

I'll be more relaxed once I get there, I know this. Right now, moving and trip prep is underway. My things (sans some clothes, camera and laptop) are going into storage. My bed is going into my parents new place. We don't know what we're doing with my car yet, but I'll figure it out.

This blog is about to get a whole lot more interesting. Several months is a long time.

Sunday, February 20, 2011


When I was a youngin, and throughout my teens, I had more confidence then most my age. I knew from age four that I wanted to be a writer. I knew I wanted to go to college, graduate, get married, have kids, work full time, be an author and live happily ever after. I was going to do it. I believed that if I worked hard enough, my perseverance would pay off.

After my spinal surgery and my mother dying, all of our lives took unexpected courses. I've been trying to get back on track with my goals ever since, and I'll admit it's been a long haul. Despite being on the honor roll in high school, college was shockingly a struggle for me. My English and Pysch courses made sense and I did remarkably well. Math was a different story. Nothing made sense. This wasn't a surprise to me, since Math never made sense, but it was harder in college than before. I tried three different tutors (in addition to my father) to help me understand basic algebra (which was a non credit course that I needed to take after doing poorly on the Math section of the entrance exam.). In class I would be told ahead of time when tests were so I could study for an extra week. I'd still end up with 30% in big, red, evil pen at the top of the page. Next I attempted having the course divided in half. I took the algebra "A" section one semester and "B" the second semester, with the end result the same. I'd get the following feedback from professors and faculty (sans tutors):

"If you would have just tried harder, you could have been out of here by now."

I certainly didn't feel lazy. In fact I felt like I was pushing a boulder up a hill with a straw. I went to school at 6:15am, studied at the school for an additional 5 hours after classes, took a job at the computer lab for extra cash for the additional tuition I was spending on, and returned home at 10pm. I took a medical leave of absence a few years ago after a new injury with my back took a toll and my confidence became shaken. Recently, in spite of finding work, I began wondering if there were any answers out there that shed some light on my previous situation. It seemed like more was going on besides "You're bad at Math." I want to return to school at some point with additional knowledge and tools to help myself.

I've begun seeing a specialist to see if I have any learning disabilities, and if so, how to work around them.

I did discover recently (through my regular doctor) that my (very) short attention span, lack of organizational skills and inability to complete a task wasn't simply a character flaw like I've always believed. (In spite of others suggesting that it might be something more) I've battled these symptoms lifelong, so admitting to myself that it might not be normal was daunting. When I went to my doctor and discussed my battle to complete things, my daydreaming and losing anything that left my hands, we began our search to find the answers. After seeing her on a regular basis, the doc's discovery is that I have ADD, but I needed to see the specialist for additional testing regarding learning disabilities. It's definitely a start. I'm on a new medication, which is helping me focus a lot better. It's strange because I didn't even realize how cloudy my head was, or how it affected my daily life. I got through simple tasks quicker. Taking a shower, making my bed, folding the didn't have to take half the morning. I remember where my keys are. I sat down with my father to watch a movie and was shocked to discover just how much of the details I had missed. ("Dad I had no idea that actress was in this movie.")

I went to the movie theater with my friends and one commented that I didn't get up once and sat through the entire film. I didn't realize that I had previously left movies often enough for it to be a problem. ("Yeah, you'd only watch half of it," he replied. "It was kind of annoying.")

It still is taking getting used to sometimes. There was so much clutter in my head that quiet and focusing on my thoughts is brand new. (After: "I need to get up, get dressed, go grocery shopping and pay my bill." Before: " bill...ghguythgfb;a") The first day I noticed something was different (because the medicine doesn't take affect right away) I said to myself: "I can think! My head is clear!....Now what?" The struggle to focus was a 24/7 job, now I had to work on other things. I signed up for one class (a business course) at my old school just to try it out. I'm taking it slow, one day at a time.

Another plus is I'll probably be blogging more...and I just realized this blog was pretty long.

Monday, February 7, 2011

New hair. My reactions in picture form. ;)


Ta da?

This is me...unsure.

Sure is easy to take care of though, so....

Friday, February 4, 2011


Okay. I hate complaining on this blog, but whatever. I'm gonna say it: I'm so sick of snow. We've had storm after storm beginning around Christmas. The first big blizzard, I thought that was cool because we hadn't gotten a good snow storm in several years. But now I don't care if I ever see the winter elements again.

I've never been a big fan of winter. (Meaning I hate everything about it) I love the sun. I love summer. I love bonfires, crunchy leaves and walks in the woods. I love bike rides. I love (well loved) walking the dog. I suppose you could do that in winter, but it's awfully hard.

What I don't love:
Snow in piles so high it blocks your mailbox.
Cars not starting.
Ice scrappers.
Chapped hands, face and lips.
The fact that for the first time ever in my LIFE a couple of weeks ago, I got frozen eyelashes after being outside for 15 minutes. FROZEN EYELASHES. I suppose I shouldn't complain too much. One of the blogs I read is about adventures in Alaska for pete sakes. But this isn't the tundra. It's New Jersey. We're not supposed to have temps below 0.

We just got out from under an ice storm. (My car was in cased in ice because it wasn't in the garage. My dear, wonderful father had to take an ice pick and start breaking off chunks) Today, I got stuck in a patch of ice mixed with a pile of snow, and couldn't leave my own street after skidding into the elements. As I heard (and felt) my tires spin, I muttered a few expletives my momma never taught me, and finally gave up, putting my car in park. Triple A was called.

We might be getting our tenth (yes...TENTH) snow storm next week. I don't even want to think about it. I refuse.

"Hey Katie," my father said. "Remember your vow to move down south after staying with Erin for awhile?"
"We might join you."

I want lows of MAYBE 40 degrees. And even that's pushing it.