Dear Noah: This is what happens when you jump in a pond.
Your coat gets matted instantly and you have to have it shaved off. Just sayin. Oh and hate to break it to ya, but you're not a lab. You can't just jump in the pond with all the other labs. You're still cute though. Kind of.
PS. Yes sir. I know it's cold. Quit yer whinin. You know what made me cry? Spending over $100 on my debit card for emerency grooming and a sweater. We need to reevaluate our relationship and have a talk. ;)