Looking Up!

My generous best friend wanted all of us ladies to pick out our own bridesmaid dresses for her wedding. The only requirement is that the dress needed to be a black cocktail one. After months of searching, I finally found mine...for $20 at Marshalls. I can honestly say that it's the best dress I've ever worn. It hides my "real scoliosis women have curves" look quite nicely.

Excuse the humidity hair. On another note, I got an interview at a doggy day care called Camp Bow Wow. I'm really excited because this may mean my love for humans and canines will collide. :) (The idea of being surrounded by animals all day makes me smile from ear to ear.) It's a part time job, but I feel it'll be wonderful just to get my foot in the door and get out there.

I've also signed up to be...drumroll please...an Avon rep. Yes ladies, I will be going out and about around town (and online) selling makeup to y'all. Orientation is tomorrow, so my website isn't up yet. (nor do I have any clue with what I'm doing) I wonder if I'm able to put it up here on my blog. (if only I had more followers...I don't bite....I swear. ;) ) For the lovely follower I do have, hi there! If you ever need some makeup up in good ol' Alaska, let me know.

Summer Days

I got rejected from a hospital in Princeton. No other calls. Still applying like crazy. Still trying to feel hopeful. I really haven't been back in the grind all that long, but already I can see that this is going to be one of the more difficult things I've ever done.

I took a break on Saturday from my full time job of finding a job by hanging out with a group of friends. (Some I haven't seen in years) We went to Thomson Park, a long sprawling property in Monroe, and tried cooling off in the shade in spite of the sweltering heat. (Sorry, so pictures to speak of, because my camera is as dead as a doornail at the moment.)

I took my Little Sprout with us, despite his protests, and brought him into the dog section where he could burn off some energy. (before you say "But in the heat?" I came well prepared by bringing three bottles of water in a mini cooler, and doggy ice cream) As soon as I unhooked Noah, he was in his glory, bolting from one side of the park to the other, occasionally zooming back to me for his cooling off needs. Us humans got to sit in the shade and talk, until Gus came into the picture.

Gus was a giant, dopey looking dog, with hair covering his face. He actually looked like a springy, breathing carpet. This high energy ball of hair was very friendly to all of us...perhaps a little too friendly. Gus immedately bounced on me, placing muddy paws on my shirt as he did so. I laughed. "Hey buddy! Don't you want to play?" I asked. Like magic, as soon as he noticed Noah, he rushed over and began...to hump. Now, keep in mind I know dogs are dogs. I'm not like some owners at the dog park who hover over little FiFi's every move. I try and restrain myself from stepping in. Gus however, was well over 30 pounds, while Noah was a measly 13. I don't think that's fair do you?

I glanced over at Gus's owner, who was intently talking on her cell phone, so I decided to take matters into my own human paws. "Here Gus!" Gus amazingly had excellent recall, and gallopped over to me. Only Noah's pride was hurt. We petted our new furry friend as Noah went back to rolling in the dirt and relaxed. Until, with no warning...Gus got up...walked over to my friend Jason, lifted his leg...and peed all over Jason's leg. "Whoa! What?" He gasped jumping back. "Are you kidding dog?" Gus didn't look the least bit embarassed as he promptly walked off. I started feeling bad for bringing my friends to the dog park, until Karissa broke out into a fit of laughter. "You got a hose to wash that off Jason?" He made a face in reply, then went off to find a pulley. I made the dogs take water and doggy ice cream breaks to cool off, which the dogs were greatful for. As for Gus's owner? She left the park for 20 minutes (with no warning) while we baby-sat Gus. Gus began jumping on Noah's back, until Noah decided he'd had enough. He snapped at Gus ("Whoaaa now" replied Jason) and jumped in my lap, where he stayed until Gus's "mom" returned.

"Come on Gus!" she said cheerfully, "Let's go!" Gus lay down in the dirt. "Agustussss." I couldn't beleive my eyes. He responded to BOTH names. Just jumped up and took off. We didn't stay in the dog section too much longer and left for the main area of the park, where I set up drinks and snacks. I tied Noah's leash to a picnic table and gave him water and a bone. We sat and chatted till 7pm, then went to an outdoor cafe for dinner.

I tied Noah up again, then sat down on the cafe bench. "OH MY GOD KATIE!" Karissa shreked. I slowly sat up. I had sat down in poop. Leaky diaper poop. (you don't want to know how I drew up that conclusion.) I glanced to my right. Noah's lead had just enough lengenth to reach underneith a grill, and my dog took full advantage. He was covered in soot. I decided to burst out laughing. "I don't think any of us are outdoor people." I said.

"I think you're right." Jason replied.

New Beginnings.

No job yet.

That's okay. I know the economy isn't the greatest right now, and I'm hanging in there. I had a phone interview though and I'm supposed to be going to an in person interview with them soon. I've applied to four more places (three hospitals and a hotel) and am hoping for the phone to ring. My job hunt is going pretty well though. I've noticed that the number of jobs out there has increased in the last few months, and more positions are long term with lots of potential.

In the meantime, I'm pretty...broke. You see, my Little Sprout, (aka Hell on four legs, aka Noah the wonderdog) has been battling quite a lot of crap himself lately. A skin infection ($200 in meds and many aveno baths later, that's now cleared up), a double ear infection (S45), the medication he's on to have him feel like a normal dog (Anti anxiety), and dog training = draining bank. "My god!" said my father. "It's like he's a CHILD." Now of course, before I offend, I know he's far from a baby. But if this is what a small taste of raising children is like, I think I'll just play with my nephews and call it a day....unless I get a windfall...yeah that's it.

I had a breakthrough yesterday though. My vet noted that Noah has finally...come around. He's friendlier, snuggles with you, loves my nephews (still weary around other children, but I'm working on it) and has relaxed. (the doc said he was probably inbred, which can make a dog have an entire host of problems.) His feet are pigeon toed, but so far, he doesn't appear to be in pain with that. I'm actually enjoying him, and can see myself having Noah for the rest of his life. No matter where I go, or how things will change, I can see him coming with me happily and coping with it.

I can't wait to see where things will lead. Good things are finally happening.

Long Term Plans.

My life has completely shifted as of late. But after a few days of feeling sorry for myself, I've decided to take the bull by the horns. (What's the fun in feeling sorry for yourself anyway?) I've been on an intense job hunt, as well as finalizing my travel plans. (I'm hoping one or the other doesn't collide.)

I've applied to a company (that shall remain nameless) that gives a great base salary, as well as insurance. I've applied to other places as well. The max I'm giving myself is two years to get on my feet and get the ground running. I'm not staying in New Jersey. (With an unenployment rate of 10% and the cost of living rising dramatically, I'm not sure I could ever move out of my parents house at this point) I'm moving out of state to a quieter (and CHEAPER) area, with a more laid back lifestyle. I defnately need it.

I have a savings. I know I need a newer car. A plan is finally building in my brain, I can feel it. I'm excited, but a little nervous too.

Up, Up and away...

Well it looks like the first place I'll be going to is...drum roll please...Florida! The last time I went to Florida, I was an 11 year old sprout and beyond thrilled that I was going to Disney World. No Disney World trips this time. Instead I'll be heading to my best friend's new rental. I haven't seen her in a few years, (not since she got married actually) and have yet to meet her (now 2 year old) son Ethan. I haven't worked out the details yet, but I'll be having plenty of adventures on my own as well as some girl time, so that's a plus.

Meanwhile, I headed out with a good friend of mine Friday night. Since the death of his brother, my friend has been in a bit of a funk. (completely understandable of course) It's been a month since he died, but instead of sitting around moping, we decided to do something he was completely in love with: Go to the county fair. Two years ago, I remember winning a Spiderman poster for him at that same fair, and he practically burst over his prize. Not to mention he wanted to go on every ride, see every show and play every game. This time around, it felt weird that he wasn't there with us. I was determined however to get my friend out there and to have a good time. My friend was reluctant in the beginning to do anything (his logic was that if his brother could no longer enjoy life's simple pleasures, why should he?) I understood his reasoning, but I couldn't allow him to sit there and punish himself. Finally (and bravely I might add), he allowed himself to have a good day.



The only thing I refused to do was go on the Ferris Wheel. Last year a kid thought it would be awesome to swing the seat we were in as we were high in the sky. No thanks. Sure did look pretty in the dusk though.



I just had to take a picture of Llamas. I love them so much. I've always been fascinated with them since I was a little girl. I wanted one for the longest time as a pet. "where would we put it?" Mom would ask. "In the yard!" I'd reply. Of course it would work. Of course.



After ice cream, a smile like this always appears on my face.

I'm unable to go on a lot of rides, due to back surgery I had as a kid. (I have a metal rod in my back...I'm almost proud to say I'm a human conductor) but that doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy taking pictures of my friends on the rides:




I can't wait to get a camera (an AWESOME camera, like a canon). I'll have much better pictures up then, especially for my trip. All in all, we had an awesome night. I hope we're able to have many more.



Wha?

I don't want to do this, but I just might have to.

Let me start off by saying that I love my dog. I got him as a beautiful ball of white fluff from a breeder, who breeds poodles and cockapoos. I wanted a cockapoo after endless research last year led me to believe that they were great with kids and social dogs. At ten months old, my puppy has been anything but friendly to many. Oh sure we go on nice walks and have our cuddle time on the couch, but ANYTHING could set him off and that mood changes in a bipolar instant. The sweet moments are becoming few and far between. I try to make sure that he has everything he needs. I took him to training class beginning at 9 weeks and continued with it and (still) work on it everyday. I brush him everyday, bathe him regularly, am always trying to play with him. He goes on walks three times a day. I feed him Halo. I take him to the dog park every weekend. I've socialized him with every person within a 50 mile radius. But, I've finally come to the conclusion that something is very wrong. When his agression issues began (gaurding paper, growling and snapping) I worked with a trainer ASAP to try and curb it. But starting last week, it got alarmingly worse.

The first time was when I got on my knees to clip his leash on. Noah bit my hand. HARD. It put a small hole between my index finger and my thumb. I came to the conclusion that it was my fault (maybe I startled him) I told him "OW! NO!" and he backed off. The second time was out of nowhere: He bit me while I was petting him. I put him in his crate to cool off. The third time, he bit my father as he gave Noah the drop it command while Noah grabbed mulch. On Saturday, while I was at a wedding shower my stepsister invited her friend and her little girl over for lunch. Noah let out a low, threatening growl to the 2 year old, (who made no move toward Noah and was just near her mom) and my stepmom quickly put Noah into his crate. But he continued to growl until she put a blanket over the crate. Tonight, I put my hand under Noah's mouth and said "drop it" in a calm, but firm, voice after he got in the trash. He growled low, snarled at me. I smoothed back his hair to look at his eyes, and it was like a strangers dog staring back. They were wild.

At the beginning of last week, I contacted a behaviorist, who is coming to see Noah this week. I've also been in contact with my vet, who will check Noah to see if anything is medically wrong. That's today. Noah is also no longer around children. I can't take a chance with little ones. He is on a leash with adults. I know I need more help with Noah at this point then you anyone can give, but am I doing the right things? I might be missing some steps to take? I just want to try everything I can to help my dog. I'll do so much for him.

That said, If this behaviorist or the vet can't help, Noah might have to be rehomed. I haven't told the breeder the steps I'm taking yet, but I did let her know that there is a major problem.

This is what she wrote:

"Hi Katie, So very nice of you to send me the pics and the update on Noah !
I have never had anyone say anything like this before so i am stumped but your trainer should be able to work on this issue and it does concern me that he bit you as they are very affectionate dogs."

I don't know what else to do. My dogs are my babies, but it's clear that Noah needs more help then I might be able to give.

Sadness.

I'm afraid there's a reason plans were put on hold and I haven't blogged in awhile. There's been something I've been holding out on this blog. A friend of mine has been going through a rough time. Last year, his fifteen year old brother was diagnosed with brain cancer. (This was after a headache that he had been complaining about to us that seemed harmless but turned pretty quickly.) After CAT and MRI scans, his cancer was found.

Over the last 15 months, this fantastic kid has been battling chemo, radiation and been poked and prodded without a single complaint. He's also been in a lot of pain, but you wouldn't have known it with the smile and the thumbs up he gave. I've been so proud of him. This school year, he got straight A's and and honors.

Right before Easter however, the monster in his brain grew in an area doctors could not operate on and he entered the hospital to try one more treatment. I'm sad to say that he passed away on May 8th.

Since then, we've all been reeling, but especially his parents and brother. I don't know what to say my friend about the death of his sibling, since it's a pain I can only imagine. Very secretly, I've been grieving too. I'll catch myself thinking of this sweet boy as I'm watching TV or I'm trying to go to sleep. I'll climb into my friend's car expecting his brother to be in the backseat. I'll go on his myspace and facebook, almost leaving a message, hoping he'll reply. I worry about my friend, who keeps saying he needs me, but I don't want to confess to him that I don't always know what to do. I was with my friend everyday until yesterday, when I'll admit I selfishly gave myself a break from it all, went on a job interview, cancelled the second one, then fell asleep at home. I'm tired all the time. I'm not hungry at all.

But I can't say that to the family, because their pain must be so much worse. Maybe I shouldn't be hurting at all, but I don't want to say that I am. I almost cried last night, but held it in. I can't cry right now. I have to be strong for my friend and their family.

But I can't help but think, after knowing my friend for five years that I'll miss his brother. And I didn't even think I would go over their house and not hear his brother running down the stairs, or tossing his back back by the door, or the sounds of video games. I didn't think that we would stop taking him to karate, or he wouldn't be going to the county fair with us anymore or I wouldn't be able to win a movie poster for him. I should have treasured him. He was an angel in the making. Godspeed to an awesome boy. Heaven is so lucky to have you.